I was actually looking for an antique store in Old Street of Buda[1], when an outlandish name plate caught my eyes, advertised in gold letters on a black background: Happiness Shop. Underneath, on a piece of cardboard with old-fashioned writing: "Final sale due to remodeling." Come on, I thought to myself, I have to try this, a little happiness never hurts, and I entered. Inside, the owner of the shop, an Armenian who looked at least two hundred years old, dressed in clothes that would have been worn even during the millenium, was talking to a woman on the verge of aging, but greeted me politely and then said:
’Please look around while I speak with the milady. Please look around to see if you can find some happiness to your liking…’ I looked around. There were all kinds of bookshelves in thematic order: Love - Family - Success - Wealth - Peace of mind - Extreme wishes... The individual happinesses were lined up on the shelves like books. However, I couldn't resist my curiosity and rather listened to the conversation between the shopkeeper and the lady - I admit it was tactless.
’My dear majesty, how about real great love? All-overwhelming, flaming, delighted, fit?’
'Yes, I think so.'
'Excellent, first class product. Kleopatra also ordered from it that year... But I have to say, it's not cheap, please. Well, let's see: a gentleman... Do you want someone younger or older?'
'A little younger, not much...'
'Okay. Passion in all quantities, do you want to rejuvenate yourself in it, noticeably for others?'
’Of course.’
’A moment. That means: she loses her three children, and her husband... Financial security drops by another thirty percent. Can I pack it?’
’No...I think it's too expensive. Can you recommend something else? Perhaps some happiness in marriage?’
’Of course, ma'am... One moment.’ - In the meantime, he looked a little on the shelf labeled Marriage. ’This, I think, will be appropriate: Intimate love with the spouse. I dare to think, madam, that it will suit you.’
’It sounds good. What is the price of this?’
’Please, it's on the higher end, but trust me it's worth it. You need to have a spiritual renewal and stop flirting.’
’Is there anything cheaper?’
’Of course, as the dear customer orders. Maybe I can pack some hot tongue?’
’What exactly does that mean?’
’Excellent gossiping skills. You can make anyone believe anything, any malicious thing.’
’I don't know... I think this will be good. What is the price of?’
’Not much really: you won't have any friends.’
’Not much really. Please.’
’Order, my majesty, I kiss your hands.’ - After the woman left the door, she turned to me -: ’Have you managed to choose yet? Can I recommend something, or would you like to take a look?’ Fortunately, at that moment, another man entered the store.
’I'd look around a bit more. If you allow, I will serve the other customer as well.’
’Please.’ - The new customer got straight to the point:
’I want a career.’
’Naturally. Would a director position at an international company be suitable?’
’Yes, definitely. What would be the price?’
’Well, let's see... You have to give up your family life, item there will be a small stomach ulcer.’
’I do not know. Family Life is quite a price. Is there anything else you can recommend?’
’Naturally. I can deliver two knockout secretaries for one heart attack. That means about minus five years of life. Can I pack?’
’Both at the same time or one after the other?’
’Separately. If you wish it all at once, the total is... a moment... yes, minus eight years of life.’
’Can I reconsider? Would I come back tomorrow?’
’Unfortunately, business policy does not allow this. Everyone can enter this store only once, after that they will not be able to find the entrance if they come back.’
’Then give it to me please.’
’Command me, here you are.’ - When we were left alone, the old Armenian turned to me -: ’Did you manage to choose?’
’I do not know...’
’Come on... ’he sighed. – ’Do you know that this is the most common phrase I hear in this profession? "I do not know." Nobody knows what they want anymore. A long time ago! I remember a lady named Júlia came, she knew what she wanted: lifelong love! And without saying a word, he paid for it with thirty years of life. Then there was Giacomo, the priest from Venice, who asked to have the most erotic adventures in the world. She gladly gave up love in return. You must have heard of him, he became famous as Casanova. Or I remember that snarky young man, Sanyi[2], who asked to be a famous poet and wanted to die in a free country. He was happy to accept it if nothing else succeeded in his life. Nowadays, everyone comes with only petty wishes. Love, sex, money... And they also pay a lot of money. and believe me, we are the cheapest on the market. Big company, big history, low prices, this is our business policy.’ I rolled my eyes a little confused. I tried to get off topic.
’Could you grant extreme wishes?’
’Naturally.’
’Say, if I want to claim world domination?’
’To my greatest regret, the manufacturer no longer undertakes another copy of it. You know, the last piece was taken by a thin, mustachioed young man[3] who was originally looking for Wagner manuscripts and painting albums...’
’What price did he have to pay?’
’Everything he created during his life, he had to destroy himself, until then he couldn't die. He received a bonus that he was not caught by an enemy weapon. Well, have you found anything sir?’
’I admit, I was a bit squinting at the package labeled the Nobel Prize for Literature...’
’Excellent choice! My brother Imre[4] also ordered from the same type.’
’I think I can only say, like the majority of my customers: I don't know. Maybe I'd rather find happiness myself, and in the meantime I don't know what price I have to pay for it.’
’You know what? You are my last customer today. You get the bonus you want.’
’I think I'd like a cup of coffee.’
’Just one cup of coffee?’
’Yes. I would like to be able to enjoy small gifts of fate like a cup of coffee every day for the rest of my life. If I always had someone near me with whom I could enjoy the taste of freshly brewed coffee. You don't need more: a small joy for every day and to be able to recognize and be happy about it.’
’Did you think it through?’
’Yes, I know it's not great happiness, but at least it's safe.’
’A wise choice, if I may say so. The joy of small things... Long forgotten happiness. I'm packing already.’
’Thank you very much! God bless!’
’Regards.’ I turned back from the door:
’Can I ask you something? He said he was remodeling the store. What will you sell?’
’Unhappiness please. You know, I see that there is a greater demand for this today.’ - And closed the door behind me with a humble smile.
Written by Rozványi Dávid
Translated by Aszalós Péter
Illustrated by Julianna Ungváriné Spiegell
The translater and the writer
[1] historical downtown of the Hungarian capital [2] Petőfi Sándor was one of the greatest Hungarian national poets, who faded as freedom fighter in the Hungarian Revolution and War of Independence of 1848/49 [3] Adolf Hitler [4] Kertész Imre was a Hungarian writer who was also awarded with Nobel-prize